Carefully Crafting Headlines and Barfing Up Titles

There’s a distinct difference between writing headlines for advertising or marketing copy and writing titles for fiction. Here is that difference:

Writing headlines is an interesting, challenging process where I get to try different techniques
to craft an engaging line to elicit a specific response.

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Writing titles sucks.

Oh, I know they’re both in my job description. As a freelance copywriter, I often write multiple headlines in a day. (Here’s an old post on what it is a copywriter really does, just in case you’ve forgotten.) And as a fiction writer, every piece I write needs a title.

So why the big difference?

Can Your Hands Speak 40 Languages?

I’m always reading and doing research for any number of projects, and occasionally something sticks with me that just continues to be fascinating.

This post is about one of those fascinating things … but prepare yourself.
The more you think about this one, the more interesting it gets.

I Listen to Podcasts. Wanna Know 6 of ’Em?

We’re all friends here, so you can admit it:

You’ve always wondered what I’m listening to while I’m folding laundry.

Give Me Your Shorts and Win NGEP!

You WILL give me names.

You had such a great time with my last NGEP contest that I couldn’t in good conscience postpone this one another day.

(Yes. You did have lots of fun. Don’t argue with me.)

Last time, I pretty broadly asked you to recommend your favorite writers. I got everything from Richard Brautigan (whom I’ve since read) to Christopher McDougall (whom I’m reading right now) to Lev Grossman (whose The Magicians is sitting on my to-be-read shelf at home).

Good show, folks, but this time around, I’m looking for something more specific:

Recommend your favorite short stories to win more
Nathanael Green Endorsement Points!

Not a Review of The Grey

Reviews aren’t my forte, especially not of movies. So this isn’t a review.

Instead, it’s a challenge for those of you who’ve got the stomach for it. And an education for anyone trying to tell a story that will wrench your audience’s emotions.

Go see The Grey.

“The Slut Buck” is in Apiary Magazine

What’s the slut buck, you ask?

I know, I know! You’ve been asking this question for YEARS with no good answer. Well, today, dear readers, if you go download the 2011 online issue of Apiary Magazine (which, of course, you should), your curiosity will be slaked with my short story of the same name.

Plus, I hope you’ll check out one of my favorite stories in this issue: “Only Leaves” by Leyla Eraslan—it’s a beautifully told tale of a girl and her tree that doesn’t know it’s a tree. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Listening to Find Your Characters

I don’t generally attribute specific sources of inspiration to my writing, but occasionally, something grabs my attention and says, “Hey! You need me!”

That’s how I had a theme song for a novel before I even started writing.

Here’s what happened.

Ebooks: Publisher-Murderer, or Savior?

Barnes & Noble's Nook

Ebooks are all four of the Horsemen of the Publishing Apocalypse digitally processed into one little, bloodthirsty file.

Or they’re the shining savior who’ll give all writers bajillions of dollars, euros, or even dirham if they feel like retiring in Morocco.

Whatever. Let’s all take a deep breath and be honest with ourselves here.

Why are publishers trembling from fear and writers from excitement?

Tell Me Your Favorite Writer and Win NGEP!

Points? I love points. Just look at my beard.

I need your help. And I promise it’ll hurt less than trying to read Ulysses.

If you tell me what writers I should be reading, you’ll
win Nathanael Green Endorsement Points!*

And the more writers you suggest, the more points you’ll rack up!

I just want to hear who your favorite authors are. That’s all.

I’m a fan of literature in general and enjoy everything from Joseph Conrad to Audrey Niffenegger. But pretty early on, I developed an especially strong hankering for fantasy fiction. I’ve read many (though by no means all) of the more common names in the genre like George R.R. Martin, J.R.R. Tolkien, Terry Goodkind, Robert Jordan, Robert E. Howard … you know, the household names that top on the must-read and best-first-fantasy-to-dip-your-toes-in lists.

Despite decades of reading, there are thousands of other excellent writers out there who I haven’t, but should, read. Maybe you’re even one of them.

So, please, dear readers of the webbernet, tell me what writers move you. Help me discover new, exciting voices for my next few book purchases.

Leave a comment and tell us what writers you think everyone should read. Plug your favorite books or plug your own books. And they don’t have to be fantasy or sci-fi, though those may earn beefier points. Just share what you like and you’re on your way to NGEP glory!

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*I’m without a doubt making the Nathanael Green Endorsement Points (NGEP) system up as I go along and understand exactly how silly it is. They’re not worth anything whatsoever except as an inaccurate and arbitrary indication of my gratitude. Still, winning lots of points at anything rocks.

Epic Rap Battles of Linguistics!

Bet you thought you’d never see that title. Still, there it is in black and white.

You’re welcome.

So, all you avowed word-nerds will certainly love this. But have you ever studied English as a foreign language? Maybe you’re an anglophile (mmm … scones). Or maybe you just have a hankerin’ for a rap battle, ANY rap battle.

Then you’ll dig this video.

As a part of their “What’s Your English” theme at the Macmillan Dictionary website, they apparently:

… asked Baba Brinkman (a Canuck) and Professor Elemental (a Brit) to produce a satirical rap-battle on the theme of stereotyped Canadian English versus stereotyped British English. The result was this ‘What’s your English?‘ video …

There you have it.

Also, I have to admit I stole my blog title from one of the best things on YouTube. It’s this guy, Nice Peter, who does videos called Epic Rap Battles of History. They’re probably not safe for work or children … and that’s exactly why they’re awesome-possum.